studied de first 5 lctures of HBO le..goodness..total madness man..still gt 1 and 1/2 more weeks..mus chiong all de way..

im veri stressed up..im bein taught to gif n take, bt dats wat others are taught too..YET y dun dey DO IT, BT i MUST DO IT?? aint fair at all..

i hv to swallow down mi pride, mi voices down..i wan to voice out, wan to show mi discomfort, disagree, stick to de routine..bt i jus cant, nothin seem to come out..im lik being forced to kip quiet, forced to stay silent, forced to listen n obey wifout ani questions..

y are we goin back to de old era..whr de ladies or young ones hv to listen to de males, de elders, de parents, etc..isit singapore a democratic country, whr ppl cn feel free to voice out opinions, unhappiness, love, care, anger, crazyiness??

to dem, it wun matter, for i hv to change..mi n miself mus change for de benefit of others..bt dey dun hv to change..dey CANT even TRY to change for mi..y isit lidat?? isit it gud to change for de beta?? bt wat if i change n i become different? will it hlp?? will it work??

im seriousli worked up, jus for no reason..nt dat dey care aniway..dey cant even be bothered if im alive or dead..dey wun even noe cos dey dun even msg or call or say something..so wat for i care, wat for i bother rite..sice everythin revolve ard dem, so be it..i jus do mi things n dats it..jus dun step on mi tail..

everythin dun seem to be in place..it looks lik ive lost mi chance, mi status, mi home, mi comfort, mi signs, miself..everythinis in a mess rite nw..i dun even noe if wat i see, i hear, i feel, i taste, i smell, i suspect, i realise, i know is TRUE or FALSE..

who must change? ME who's fault? ME who's problem? ME who must listen? ME who must keep quiet? ME who must eat? ME who must follow? ME who must try? ME who must accomodate? ME who must help out? ME who must care? ME fucklah, everything oso ME..