im damn freakin hungri..hv bin on a partial hunger strike..

sat: drink green tea all de way till diner at 6plus..den eat 3 sushi, eat white carrot cake..till 8 plus, den drink 2 yakult befor starting de nite cycling..along de way, drink water, mouthful of coffee n h2o..finali ric ecp mac, ate bits n pieces of biscuits n finish mi green tea..

sun: came hm, pompom, slp, wash dirty clothes, etc..den wake up, nothin to eat, din even go out, ate mam's sweet potato soup, bt mus share wif whole famili..

nw damn HUNGRI!! roar..sian, hw long cn i last?? i see food, bt i dun feel like eatin..i cn cook, bt i feel so lazy..i wan to eat, bt gt no appetite..

IM SO FAT!! IM SO SAD! IM SO BAD!! IM SO FAD!! ARGH!!

ive cleared all de doubts, all de probs, all de issued..ive died, ive recharged, ive awaken fm dead..

I LOVE MI PARENTS?? haha..mam finali paid for didi's shoes dat ive paid bt din ask her for de money..since she ask mi hw much n willing to gif mi money, i jus take lor..hahaha..n mi dad is doin mi model childcare now..WHEEEEE, mam was watchin television, bt she went to hlp too..hehehe..

BUT den agn, all dese work, will i gt mi 'A'?? haiz..watever lah..im goin to hlp do de model too now..bies..

its bin ages since i post stuff here..i dun even noe if i shud pen down mi feelings..so wat if u see, so wat if u gt to noe mi thru here..do u even care?? do u even bother to take note?? do u even make minor changes to urself or suit to mi likin??

i guess dese past few days hv bin quite a roller coaster..i do nt wish to emphasize..bt:

I HATE PEOPLE WHO FLY MY KITE/AEROPLANE
I HATE PEOPLE WHO PROMISE ME STUFF THEN BREAK IT
I HATE PEOPLE WHO TELLS ME LAST MINUTE THINGS
I HATE NOT TO PRE PLAN ACTIVITIES
I HATE PEOPLE FOR NOT KNOWING HOW TO PLACE THEIR PRIORITIES

cant u jus understand mi?? my feelings?? y mus u kip doin all dese stuff to mi?? VERY FUN ISIT?? i totali hate it to de max cn..mi famili dun even do it to mi, if nt i will show face..n dat includes you, you and you!!

as much as i cn, as much as i cud, i will definiteli find tym to mit, go out, chill n slack..I HAVE TO COMPROMISE TO UR WORKIN TIME N THINGS U DO..bt wat abt u?? cant u jus apease mi? cant u jus do things dat i lik too? cant u jus accompani mi whn i nid u?? whn i ordy booked u??

YES, i noe dat u will nt, wud nt, shall nt, cannt GIVE UP THINGS for mi..n i cn, becos IM DUMB..

y do eveybodi thinks dat im strong?? do dey reali noe whu i am inside?? DO YOU?!?!

jus becos of u, mi mood de whole dae is lik drop down to de lowest ground, i seriousli hope n wish dat de floor cn open n eat mi up..whn hurt others, do u even tink hw dey might be? hw had it is for dem? hw much dey are sufferin?? hw long dey are cryin silentli?? YOU DUN CARE DO U..all u noe is dat its nt ur fault, bt other be more understand, more flexible, more grown up..

as much as i cn, i am independent to do things ON MI OWN..bt godamnit, SOME THINGS JUST CANT BE DONE ALONE!!

i reali wan to noe mi position, mi status, ur priorities..i dun wan empty promises, i dun wan to be ditch one side everytym u hv sumthin last min comin up..u so like to dump n dupe mi correct? leavin mi all alone by miself to pick up de piece n pieces dat u hv shattered..hw consideratin of u, hw lovin of u, hw carin of u, hw toughtful of u..

everythin takes two hands to clap..after so long, so much, all de effort ive put in, all de tyms ive scarifice, all de nonsense dat ive done, all de compromises dat i hv to make for u..everythin jus seem to go down de drain, taken for granted, for fun onli..

do u even hv a heart, do u even care abt mi, do u even noe wat i nid? wat i wan? wat i lik? whrs ur compassion??

pls do nt die nw, if nt ur present will go to waste..if u wan die, do so after ur burfdae..aniway, i cant control of hlp u animore..its none of mi businsess to noe whr u go, wat hpnd to u..i cant read ur mind, u dun msg, SO WAT FOR I BOTHER N CARE?!

even if we talk it out, even if we sit down n reconsider, do u tink things will still work out if u dun even bother to put in de effort..u wan mi to go cell, i mus go..fine, i go..bt i jus wan u to msg mi, to let mi noe uve reach ur destination safely or wat..SO DIFFICULT isit? if anithin hpnd, dun blame mi for nt visitin u..

mi days are short lived..no matter wat gud things dat hv hpnd, it sure gt spoiled sum hw or rather..

AND I HATE IT SERIOUSLI!!

hw i wish de world was kinder..
hw i wish dere are ppl dat i DO NOT hv to SEE..
hw i wish sum ppl jus DISAPPEAR..
hw i wish i cn KILL ppl wifout hvin to go jail..
hw i wish i hv super powers dat let mi fly as n whn i wan, whr i wish..

haiz..i reali hate dis week!! since mon, mi GOD!! i tink its a curse..i wasnt spared on sun, tue, wed, n tdy!! will tmr n sun be better?!?!

sun go out bt was pissed, cos wana see movie bt cant, sian lah, duno whn den i cn see de movies..watever lah, ordy passed, will find one day i go n see..
mon had to go back to sch jus cos sm ppl duno wat to do for project, wan to DISCUSS n DISCUSS n DISCUSS n DISCUSS n....omg..
tue had a nice start to pon sch n eat breakfast, bt on de way to sch, ji tao sian to de max..evenin was even worse...
wed go sch earli, bt end up waitin..sit at canteen lik a fool..studied alone..wanted to gt shoes, bt oso dun hv..hwever, de white shoe is not bad leh, bt duno whr wif wat..
thur jus dun feel lik goin sch so earli, after all debarment period over liao..sumhw after so long, ppl still duno mi..y duno mi?!?! mus i always repeat mi 'name'?!?!

hai, i reali dun feel lik talkin..shud i jus off mi hp?? shud i jus do mi work??

iamreallysickandtiredoflivingthiskindoflife!! pleasehelpme!!

lost and confuse..de world is goin in circles..

i nid to gt hlp, i wan to shout out, i wan to leave n nv return..

is so hard to breathe..dun even talk abt stayin alive..

de world is nv fair, nothin is in ur hands..whn de ball gets to u, u duno wat to do..

wat does it matter to u, wat share hv u got in dis world..

bein independent is one thing, bein alone is another thing..

wat makes u happi might nt make mi happi..so whu can be happi??

de past, de present, de future..y isnt it de Puture??

for all u noe, tmr might be ur last day, wat u gona do abt it??

i nida find mi life, i nida noe mi direction, i nida get a grip..

goodness, i wana break free, i wana break to relax n get away fm de buzzlin town life, de nonstop action packed life, de upcomin roars and boars..

in de end, i wish i cud slp n nv wake up, to go into an endless dream mode dat is pleasant n peaceful, filled wif tranquility and assurance..

aunti, bon yoyage..have fun in hk..rmbr our fish n co ar!! haha..

$1 nasi lemak..=)

includes: chips, braised hard boil egg, curry potato, noh hiang, n de usual nasi lemak..anybody wants?? hahahaha..

mummy n daddy love me

for baby faith
definiteli a girl

goodness, she is soooooooo SMALL

pretty?

taiwan magnets fm loudhailer darling

some flower girly spray fm suzy
germany tea fm ah lau

money chocolates fm germany

sweets dat i snatch over

wana make a guess?

its chewing gum lah!

coin purse fm swiz..goodness, it cost $10!!

GOOOOOOOOOOOOD MOOOOOOORRRRRNINNNNNNNNGGGGG

harlow ppl, first day of sch for mi..=) and i rci at 905?!?! crazy..haha..bt wat to do, mit for project, as usual, as xpected sumbodi nv cum..wat cn i say?? haha..

open hse is cumin le..i tink is thur, fri, sat?? bt whu cares..haha..i gt project n stjohn n beta stuff to do..let de juniors take charge, im too old for dat ordy..

well, ive decided to go trainin on wed..god noes y lah ar..bt i wil leave earli as i hv a meetin on thur..nida do finish ppt slides, bt im uncertain of de outcum..no promises sir..n i still hv to read de KAQT guidelines..goodness..

hope to see ah alu in class ltr..

sat mornin gt de dumb wake up prank call by mi cadet..am so mad..gona fail him?? haha..i shall read de rules n regulations of de course, n see wat part i cn mark him down..so much so for his bad luck, so much so for listenin to mi fellow officers to call mi in de middle of de nite, so much so for bein stupid n nt tink rationali..i dun care if u cried after dat or wat..cos i din even scold him, im veri nice..i asked for his name n grp n corps, i even said thank you!! haha..watch out on thur, lets see if u will pass..50-50 ok..bt i wun be so bad, i wil let u pass, bt i wil gif u ur due punishment dat u deserve..

went to hospital to see popo..she in icu..haiz..her ECG n BP so low..n all he said was popo is old..haha..if nt old i stil call popo for wat? apprentli whn she was in de nursin hm, she was on de oxygen tank thingy for 4 days le, beore de doc dere sent her to NUH..wat de rite?!?!? bt cant blame de doc, mi popo is veri stubborn..n on new yr day, we stil cn go karaok, hv fun, even de parents have some minor dispute n meeting abt popo n stuff..argh!! den i rush to mit him to do mi iphone..haiz, duno y cant log in, n download games..until i pek chek..haha..

sun i wake up so earli, bt dere is stil a pig whu wakes up ltr den mi..haha..de princess is a gud gal..=) wana go JB leh, wana mit auntie aikim..bt all mi sat in JAN are fully BOOKED!! argh..sun i go to his fren's hse to do mi iphone agn..haha..n it works..bt i stil cant download games!! argh..jack's hse is NICE..=) n he walk ard, askin so much as if his hse..haha..bt i asked too..=) cos im renovatin mi hse..dad n mam will renovate once mi n didi grad!! hahahah..=) cant wait man..

tdy no sch..elearn n CRM teacher on leave?? hahahaha..bt hv to mit joyce online to do etp work..FINALI i gt all de survey results le..n we cn wok on it..haha..splitted de work n go do..n i went to slp..haha..wanted to go tiong, bt lazy..had so much fun playin iphone games..hehehe..

hell is cumin..i cn feel it..tks so much for pushin everythin to mi..nobodi noes, bt god noes..hahaha..if u tink im tokin abt u, den u are guilty..bt im nt sayin out..dun force mi to, if nt i wil smack u..haha..nites..

karaok n diner n go mi uncle's nw hse..wat a day to spent new yr..bt still, gt to slp, relax, drink, mahjong, sing song..haha..stil nt so bad celebratin wif famili after all..dey had sum disputes n stuff agn over mi popo..bt wat to do..ppl old ordy are lidat wat..nt sure if dey hv came up wif de best solutions..bt well..all de quarrelin over..went to lao pa sa for diner..so so onli..tink we ordy fm wrong stall?? cos nt veri nice..ric hm n BANG..mam gt a msg fm mi uncle..popo is in hospital..wth rite..haha..so qiao..so goin to hospital for a trip ltr..

drink..nt bad..bt onli 16%..left overs at mi hse..anibod wants?

mi new found frens..squeeky pig is indeed noisy..=)
fm mdmliyen, fm japan..bt of cos, made in china!!

goodnes..BEST gift ive ever receive fm SUMBODI whu went anihc for 8 days..

alrite, finali mi iphone has been jailbreakED..since july till NOW..hahahaha..gona learn hw to use de applications ltr..gona learn hw to download n transfer stuff..

wana pack mi room, bt tink tmr lah..jus kip de bags onli, no big deal..haha..

cant wait to gradin march..so mam cn renovate our hse..YEAH, after 22 yrs..i cn gt a new room outlook, new stuff, n design miself..i gurantee it will be lik a pig sty..=) or meib it will turn into a princess room?? anibodi wans to hlp mi design de room for FREE..haha..of gif mi ideas?? wat to get, wat to put in, wat to buy??

i wan things dat are pratical, saves space, cheap, good, nice, etc..hahaha..n i guess mi 4 cupboards or clothes will be greatli lessen..cant wait to gif away stuff dat i dun wear..gona throw away dumb books, notes dat are of no use!! haha..oh yar, n mi shoes, 1 cupboard still nt enuf leh!! mi bags too, i nid more space for mi shoes n bags n soft toys..how how how?!?!?!?!

seriousli, im pissed!! at 01:07am, i received a call, n it lasted for 1 minute..at dis hr, ppl hv ordy gone to bed, yet tot whu will call..meib it is an emergency, meib its sumthin urgent, meib its sumthin impt..bt guess WAT!! it was PRANK call..beta still, it was by mi CADET fm stjohn..

de male cadet called n spoke wif mi..*inbetween dese few sentences..dere were pauses..dere were oso laughter n noise at de back..it SOOOOOOOOO OBVIOUS dat dey are playing..it mus be sume game or forefeit or nonsense..*

he: hi mdm charlene, are u aslp..

me: whu are u..

he: im nevin fm adv..

me: y u call me..

he: hv u eaten..

me: y are u askin such questions..

he: i miss u..bye..

at 01:09, i called back and spoke for abt 53 seconds..dis tym, called back de number dat mi cadet use..best part..de SHE whu pick up mi call n tok to mi is mi FELLOW INSTRUCTOR, whu is 2 yrs older and senior den me..n SHE cn say dat she is de cadet fren!! well done..i didnt noe dat STJOHN produce such ppl..

me: harlow, cn i speak to nevin pls..

she: im nevin fren..

me: cn u put nevin on de line..

she: ok wait..

he: harlow..

me: are u nevin..

he: yes..

me: are u fm adv..

he: yes..

me: whu ur grp instructor..

he: wilson..

me: ok tks, bye..

at 01:11am, i msg de cadet's GI..to double confirm if de cadet is reali his grp..n guess wat, i received a call rite immediateli n we spoke fo 30 seconds briefli..

gi: harlow mdm..

me: yes wat isit..

gi: abt de call jus nw, u noe we hv bbq rite..n we are playin a game..

me: so..

gi: its his forefeit to make a call..

me: ok tks, i noe wat to do..

WAT DE FUCK!! wat game, do u tink i care..dere are limits in playin game!! n to call ppl up in de middle of de nite..WTH!! im am goin to make de cadet fail his course..gud luck to dose officers whu were involved..im sori, bt its jus too much to wake mi up..i hate it..wan to play, oso gt a limit..

*cadet, if ur instructor asku to die, will u go die?? i cant believe u are an advance cadet wif no brains?? good luck to u..