FRIDAE..

yakult..=)

ribena..bt ops, forgt to rotate..haha

tdy went to eat dim sum le..haha..finali, bt its super nice dough its at hawker centre..n its cheap..haha..=)

rainin lik mad sia..got caught, bt lucki nt so wet..bus down to mustafa to mit ahma, bf n liang wei..haha..omg, at dere was so so so dark, even dough it was in de afternoon..hahaha..bt i oso forgt to buy torch light..haha..

we walk n walk n walk n walk..jus to search for present n dumb stuff..n of cos, he got mi yakult n ribena..haha..yeahs..=)

we went to ulu pandan to slack n drink..den go hq to take stuff for tmr..haha..madness, dey tink crystal is driver ar..always ask her to use car n transport stuff..sians..lucki de cat nt dere..

!!!!!!!!!!!!i have CRAVINGS for yakult and ribena sweets!!!!!!!!!!!


...I LUB U...I LUB U...I LUB U...I LUB U...I LUB U...I LUB U...


THURSDAE
i gt 1 tube of yakult agn..BT i bought miself..den suzy, rach, alis, maria, char drink..n its GONE..poof..haha..its lik u cant offer to ONE person onli, mus be de whole grp..if nt so wierd rite?? haha..

hopefuli next tym dey buy for mi to drink too..hehe..=)

tdy was a veri long dae, n im freakin tired..=(

thank goodness tmr is a PH, cn slp in, cn go out..YEAHS..


WEDNESDAE
i gt 1 tube of yakult n 2 boxes of ribena yesterdae..THANK U..muack..

i oso went to starbucks to gt deir free drink..BT, its hot, so gif him..i bought de peppermint mocha to try..OMG, yucks..dun lik it cos its nt to mi likin..haha..

rush down to queensway to gt mi new specs..BT he say nt nice..haha..wanted to gt 2, so cn wear his option too..bt we decided to jus do 1 first ba..dun waste money..

headed down to hq once gt mi specs..mus collect back de flag day tins..den went out wif siti n crystal to bugis..crap sia dey all..make mi eat desert until i wana shit..haha..

diner at hm at 1155 was maggie!! n was gossipin wif mi stjohn ahma n msgin mi boiboi..

new york new york

fried mushroom
pasta

bras..hahahahaha

to put on face

leg gel

tdy after sch mit mi cousin..bt she was late..haha..so i went ard to look at stuff first..after dat, she came n den brought mi to buy bra..aiyo..n 3 summur leh..haha..den we went to new york new york to mummum..yeahs..=)

duno hw mi cousin noe dat sumthin is wrong..bt nothin is wrong wat..haha..so glad dat shes concern dough she nag at tyms..

yeah, mam gif money to make specs..n i cn collect tmr le..hahaha..=)

SUNDAY

saw dis rainbow at de bus stop..on de bus stop seat

MONDAY

ingredients

fried egg

seaweed n sushi mix

yesterdae went to sch, bt was tired cos finish crm work at abt 12 - 1..den OMGZ , BOOMZ, SHINGZ cn..lecture fm 9 - 10, after dat lecturer say gt sumthin to tel SA0701..n guess wat, she jus wana tel us dat our TUTOR is on MC!! so lesson cancel..n sooooooo, i juc go sch for 1 hr!! wat de..haha..

gt mittin at 7pm at senja-cashew cc..so went to mit dragonfly for while..bin ages since i saw her..den go ntuc to buy stuff..make sushi for sumbodi to eat..da pao over to mittin, den gif taufu n mingfei to eat sum too..de rest at hm mi didi finish..mittin ended late, sians..

i am HAPI..

mi uncles says dat even whn i hv no one, even whn everybodi left mi, even if nobodi love mi..

HE wil love mi..

hahahaha..thank u uncles..

bt im sori de bond we share, de love we share is something dat canot be replace or change by other ppl..i noe dat no matter wat i say or do, u wil nt leave mi..nt lik other ppl..

mi heart is lost in de vast sea, searchin back to whr it suppose to belong..so uncles, thank u for bein dere for mi..to ask mi out at random tyms..to take mi out for rides whn u are free..

YEAHS..

SATURDAY

yeah, fm sir sam..of cos, de nogurt is he brought for all de officers to share, bt i lik it, so i took more..n its alot alot more..esp de crunchy ones..=)

sir went aust right before CF, leavin everythin to mi..on CF de actual dae..i demanded mi presents for him..n of cos, he did buy..bt he forgt to pass mi till yesterdae!! -.-

he is one of de nicest sir..dats y i lik workin wif him..i bet he is promoted, dats y he is lettin de seat go n pass over to mi..wat de!! sir, im gona make life diff for u..hahahahaha..

3rd course day, n OMG..de trainees n officers are lik BOOMZ..bt of cos, de rationale is, if mi chairman scolds mi, i wil scold de grp instructors, de grp instructors wil scold de trainees..either way, it is a continuous cycle..fm top down or bottom up..no use fakin ignorance or 'chao keng'..

yesterdays pt was shiok..de cadets all complain tough..haha..n so mani 'chao keng'..dose 'casualty' was enuf to form 2 GROUPS!! ediot rite..haha..bt nvm, let de 'chao keng'..in camp see hw long dey wana do dat whn gt mur senior officers ard..

gt all mi workin committee to do a 'test'..next week, wil be de plannin committees turn..no excuse even if u hv 2 pit or 3 pit..cos me myself am doin it too!!






i gues everythin is back to normal..first he wans it, den he dun wans it, nw he wans it BACK..i had enuf of playin games..dis wil be de last tym..i swear n promise..although we've tok n be normal, bt sumhw, its stil nt normal..i duno y..meib de wave has had wash away everythin, meib everythin has faded bt jus dis little spark is still dere, waitin to be litted up agn..

GOODBYE..

tym to return back to its rightful owner

dis wil be goin away too

history will be, might be repeatin itself agn..bt dis tym, i am at no fault, i nv do anithin wrong..is nt lik i hv another guy..its nt as dough i smoke agn, dough i might if everythin is confirm n finalise..its nt lik i've hurt him deepli or let him down..

its all becos i cant promise, i cant compromise..dat i wil go church..WAT DE rite!! bt too bad, its de ugly truth, n it hurts..though ive ordy taken a step to go cell..bt to him, it might nt be enuf..

i duno stil wat i mus do..i duno y mus i be forced..i duno y i cant jus take mi own tym n do wat i lik..whu noes, meib whn we are nt together, i start to go church..will be gt back?? i tink dats too late..

we cant be frens animur..u wan ask to tok..ok, hi and bie..it aint easy..i took 9 months to start tokin to james..n its abt adc, stjohn..short n sweet..nothin much..

i guess, if everythin ends..dere goes mi weekli sat lunch dat mi officer envy mi havin..dere goes mi msia trip..i wun nid him to hlp mi in synergy..i wun leave anithin wif him..i wil return him everythin he gave..n i wil take back de letter n photo..

he cares if i drink..bt in wat position does he care..y does he wana care..whu pushed mi to de corner..

he used to say dat i make him choose between his 'late nite outing' frens or mi..bt i wonder dat if he reali understand dat i dun lik him stayin out late cos of safety reasons..BUT NOW, i dare to say dat he is de one whu will be choosin between his 'religion' or mi..i believe u are gona tok to ur fren abt dis n den make a decision..watever, its up to u..once we through, it is for real, n we are through..

it sucks badli..whn i was drunk jus nw, i reali feel lik i was dyin, i wish de car cud bang mi or sumthin jus fall down de sky n bomb de park..i cudnt rmbr anithin, de pain was taken away..de alcohol jus numb everythin..sumhw, i duno hw i ended up hm..whn i woke up,everythin was pain..mi head, mi eyes, mi heart, mi tummy..seriousli no mood to eat, go stjohn, do hm wk..

I HAVE JUST GIVEN UP EVERYTHIN DE MIN U GAVE MI UP, DE MIN U HAD TO TINK N CHOOSE, DE MIN U TELL MI U STIL NID TYM TO TINK..DERE IS NOTHIN MUR TO LIVE..DUN U NOE UR OWN HEART, WHR IT LIES..

THURSDAY

he made mi walk in de dark, nearli..doesnt he noe dat im scared?? it hpnd at de foot of mount faber..nw he wants to repeat it..

FRIDAY

i hate bein FORCE to do things i dun lik

mi heart has bin broken since de phone call on wed..nothin gud wil hpnd i guess
i wil hv to walk alone down de long stretch of emptiness
tym to coup up miself away fm de rest of de ppl

u tink u playin game isit?? seriousli?? i duno wat has gotton into..u were de one whu initiated and ask for it..nw u are de one whu wans to end n stop it..why why why?? isit so fun?? isit cos u hv nv bin in one SOOO long?? i duno wats rite up ur mind..

i u knew it in de beginin, wat for stil start?? if u were to noe n forsee de future, wat for question?? y mus u force?? wil anithin gud cum out of it??

i bet u noe mi inside out for im easy to read lik a book..
1) i dun lik ppl to force mi to do things dat i dun lik
2) i hate ppl whu dun let mi hv de freedom to choose wat i wana do
3) i do wat i wan, as n whn i lik, hw i lik it
4) whn i lik, i do..dun lik, i dun do

y cant everythin be taken back?? y cant u eat back ur words?? y cant we jus take day by day n see wat hpnds till de tym cum?? isit so impt..dat u wil gif up mi for dat..i ordy follow u on sat nite..y mus i go on sun?? i hate wakin up earli in de mornin..whn den u wil understand?? i hv probs wakin up on weekdays jus to go to sch, wat mur on weekends..n if i cn wake up earli on weekends n nt weekdays, dats so contradictin..

if u hv to, i rather u kill it nw den ltr..i dun wan to go thru de same pain n torture agn..i hate it whn ppl are playin game..we were given a chance to lik each other..bt u rather choose religion, so be it..in ani case, in ur next life, pls choose de same religion gal so dat u wil nt break her heart..

it is becos i cant fulfil his wishes, his promises..i cant gif him an answer, i cant promise n compromise nw..dats y he wants to call quits..he is tinkin of callin quits..n after quittin, he wana be frens..FOR WAT? F***..he was de one whu started it, nw he might be de one ending it..so y mus i stil oblige n be frens?? jus becos i duno wat wil hpnd in de future, jus cos i dun lik wakin up earli on sun..he wans to gif up everythin we had n share..

n so, he ask: will u hate mi..hw i wish i wil tell him de real answer..hw i wish i cud lie to him..hw i wish i cn be strong..bt all he tinks is dat he dun wana breakdown while workin..den wat abt mi?? onli guys hv tears isit?? hv he ever tot abt mi?? hv he ever understand hw i felt abt all dese??

seriousli, i wonder if i lik de guy cos of himself..or becos he is rich?? or becos he has a belief n religion?? or becos of famili?? i wan to marry, lik de GUY..nt becos of ani other reasons..everybodi said he was perfect, dat he pamper mi..dat every sat he buys food down, on special request..bt am i dat lucki??

i wana slp..i wana gt drunk n stop tinkin abt all dese..if it is to be dis way, den let fate decide..after all, i had no choice, i hv ordy gave in, given in to his demands n request..wat mur cn i ask for, wat mur cn i choose..

its tym to retreat back to whr i belong..i wish to find mi grandfather n unlce n cousin in de other world..hopion dat dyin n leavin dis world wil solve everythin..

WEDNESDAE

bored durin CCRM tutorial

diff colours
rach drew dis on de table

went for drink at TIMBRE..=)

mushroom soup

seafood platter for 2

grilled gala platter for 2

used up de vouchers

wore dress..cos goin out for birthdae diner..lucki i din wear shirt n short..cos go bar (and de service sucks)..haha..we jus drank n eat buffalo wings..den i told dem to go central for seafood..yummy..

luckili, de voucher expires on 18th nov 2009..which is jus nice yesterdae, if nt wasted..haha..

had a fun tym crappin n walkin n laughin..

i bet lots of CKP were droolin over we 4 gals..haha..

its bin more den a week..alot of things to do..stress?? tired?? sick?? hapi??


LAST WEEK
wed went suzy hse, din mit him..wanted to go queensway to make specs, bt de shop close, so go vivo see dress..
thur gt synergy mittin..mi god, so cramp, so pack, so noisy, so long..hahaha..thankfuli i gt izwan to hlp mi out..
fri went for calculus..OMG, borin to de MAX cn..haha..den went to collect mi shirt fm eileen..nice..=)
sat gt nco course..triage was FUN, tekan ppl onli, bt dey deserved it..haha..so mani things hpnd dat dae (n i duno y sick after lunch)..headed to hq for brigade diner..saw uncle I too, yeahs..
sun fly uncle I's kite..cos too sick to go out..stay hm to rest..


MON
went hm for diner..gt crabs leh..=) ate 1 n half all by miself..haha..so yummys..n i watch finish de 'xie fu an, xie pi dan' show..so funi..hahaha..y dis actress, de shows she act always gt 2 guys lik her..n dey are rich?? real life gt nt?? haha..


TUE
go hm agn for diner, gt cod fish..=) i tink i mus go hm every dae den gt gud food to eat..haha..omg, i SWEETS alot tdy lah..n he oso bought 1 tube of sweet for mi..nearli fall aslp durin lesson, bt was awake after seein him? haha..n rach say she gona pinch mi if i slp..bt i cant hlp it, i mean, whu dun wana slp durin her lecture? haha..kiddin..

durin ETP, walau, suzy n alis kip playin mi iphone..n suzy cn stil tel alis, TIMES UP..u use 30 mins liao..haha..so funi cn..onli i pay attention? see i so guai..=)


de more i see her, de more i wan to slap her face..de more i regret..bt wat cn i do?? no choice..wats done is done, cant undone..PLS stop gifin mi de pathetic n inocent look..i HATE it..show dat to other ppl whu u cn scam..=)

asked for tutu kueh, n dis wat i got..haha..10 of dem..am i a pig?? he's so sweeeet..reali?? seriousli?? truefuli?? haha..tks alot to him, i dun hv to queue n stil gt to eat..

tks for always askin mi if i wan nt..if u gt de heart, u wil buy it..if u noe i wana eat, u wil buy it..wahahaha..=)

coconut tutu kueh

sharin de black black thing

MONDAE

din feel lik goin to sch, bt no choice, sumbodi say i mus go sch n study -.- haha..aniway, i mus make it a pt to go sch on mon..cos ms joanne is sooooo ______...always makin mi laugh lor..exercise mi lungs, mi vocal cords, etc..hahaha..



SUNDAE

tdy gt charity fair..seriousli, i wana cri lah..mi FnB is lik doin NOTHIN..n i mus do for dem, other officers mus do for dem..y mus we be de one to KIO de SAI!! argh!! thankfuli, gt senior officers to hlp mi..i mus be strong, i am strong..

as usual, watever dey say is correct, watever we say is wrong lah hor..haiz..duno wat to do..am caught in de middle..



SATURDAE

nco course was ok..first dae, alot of scoldin n shoutin..on fri, one of mi officer jus drop de bomb on mi..askin mi to gif 2 lectures..OMGZ!! overall, it was ok, sum even ask hw i cud turn a borin lecture into sumthin interestin n fun..REALI?? haha..surprisin to mi, dat i cud do it..=)

after course go see astro boy..haha..

reali veri tired..

FUCK..

FINALI FINISH MI IPP REPORT..

HAD TO REDO DE DAMN WHOLE THING LAH..SIANZ..

HOW TO SLEEP NOW?? MUS WAKE UP AT 0715..NO DIFFERENCE..

SO PISSED CAN..BETA DUN DISTURB MI..

FUCK..

mi report is lost..all gone..stupid com..nw i gtta REDO!! SUCKS man..feel like killing miself..wana rant all de bad words out man..wana cri, bt it wun hlp..

F*** F*** F***!!!!!

yesterdae mornin uncle msg mi..i was quite surprise..cos tot he saw mi..bt he jus wana noe hw i am n stuff..n we chatted alot..he kept mi company along de way to sch..

its reali bin AGES since i last tok to uncle..dat day he call n call n call..bt i was slpin..

so FINALI i gt de chance to see him agn, n go out, go ridin..he counted, n its bin 8 MONTHS!! omg, dat long, i din go ridin..i din go vivo n chill n eat thai express..i din go '99 turns'..i din go to 'sumwhr'..

he n his gf broke le..haiz..uncle, its ok, slowli find..ah gal wil support u de..or i cn hlp u find..hahaha..

oh oh, n de bike he change agn!! haha..he rode de red bike, 600cc for abt 7 months..den nw, change to white bike, 1000 cc..FASTER LEH!! wheeee..

he say he goin US for 2 yrs..say he cn sponsor mi tickets if im goin to visit him..bt expenses n stuff i mus cover..haha..whu noes, 2 yrs ltr, uncle cum back wif ang moh gf..hehe..

n surprisin, he still goes to church evey sun..stil cn say he veri guai..haha..

uncle, i miss u..n stop askin if i miss u..dumb..n we saw king kong..haha..=)

SATURDAE

went for NCO Course Orientation..was a half day program..soon, de next few weeks, its de actual NCO Course le..

i promise, dat fm oct, nov, dec..mi piority is for stjohn..so de rest, pls dun disturb mi..im nt as free as before..book mi in adv..

after dat had debrief, mittin, gossip session..den mit him n go cell..mi god, i slept in de bus..n we ended up at clementi..bt den he asked mi to go, so i went..

de pt is, no matter hw tired a person is..dere are sacrifises n promises dat one made, n has to be kept..yes i am tired, further mur i stil gt stjohn on sun, in de mornin..bt i do make de effort to go wif u..cn u do de same??



SUNDAE

went for stjohn agn, bt dis tym is zone presentation..went to gt mi service medal..haha..eat agn..suppose to mit, bt den, haiz..its over..so had mittin, diner, went hm..



MONDAE

tdy sch start le..tdy i lose 2 $10 taka vouchers..cos i jus show suzy, den she say 'gif mi leh'..i cn say NO meh?? so i say u choose lor, either taka or sports link..so she took taka..den she tell alis she gt de voucher..lidat ordy, hw cn i dun ask alis to take oso..so alis oso took de taka voucher..

mit bong for lunch..i drink milo n den he didijia..waited for him to cum down..den he say he wan go taka buy things, cn use de voucher..told him i left $10..n den he sianz..haha..so i reali tot he reali wan de $30 to buy stuff..end up whn i ask wat u wan to buy..he jus smile at mi n say duno..

nvm lah, i dun use..i let u use de last $10 taka voucher ok..sayang lah..next tym gt ani vouchers i jus kip for u lor..

after sch went to find white sports bra..if nt kena shoot n scolded agn..duno wats dis brand..so jus try since its de onli white wif out paddin..PURELIME sports bra, $59.90 SIA!! bt bt bt bt bt bt bt bt, gt discount of $35.65..so i onli nida pay $25.25!! bt bt bt bt bt bt bt bt bt, i gt de sports link voucher..so i onli nida pay $5.25!! haha..cool or wat!! cn go sports link n look for stuff agn..=)

he passed mi dis..

mam pass mi dis..
gt de medal tdy..n mi G4 is done..=)

am reali shack..update mur tmr..goin hm to slp after sch tmr..tireds..mi panda eyes is showin..

SATURDAE

i love daddy n mummy

ROMPER: my name is joelle
BIB: joelle, new arrival

T-SHIRT: joelle, lil princess

TSHIRT: joelle's daddy, baotian

TSHIRT: joelle's mummy, lina

JOELLE: dis is all mine

JOELLE: mi n mummy n daddy..=)

congrats to sir bao tian n mdm lina on deir arrival of deir baby girl - joelle..aniway, she's 1 month old plus le..haha..

rara queensway officers to pool money n buy gift for her..10 officers, $13 per pax..=)

am so in love wif de romper..i wan too!! anibodi gt ani idea whr cn make ADULT romper?? wahahahaha..

FRIDAE

wrapped tightli n put inside fridge

chocolate gift
marker set gift

card n $80 sportlink gift

yeahs..IPP is over..de teachers wanted to brin mi out for lunch..bt last min changes, cant go..aniway, i gt chocolates, card, vouchers, maker ink..fm de pe dept n general office ppl..